Top 10 Sex Excuses

Caution. This blog may contain language with sexual content. Well now that probably got more attention than not, but I did feel the need to warn my FB friends… As many of you know I am an advocate of marital and/or relationship sex! I think it is a necessary part of our lives. Relationships, married or not are difficult at best. Sex should be the easiest part of the intricate puzzle we refer to as commitment. It is pleasing, loving, fun, exercise, stress relief, bonding, and I’ll just say it…orgasmic! However, day to day life seems to interfere with the time we could and should take for this most enjoying task. So as “humans”, we don’t just say “not tonight” we have to come up with excuses. Untruths, little white lies, stretching the truth, the truth but our mind could be changed if it was REALLY something we wanted to do, etc. OK, you know where I am going with this. In my research, I have found the top ten list of excuses NOT to have sex…

10. Too soon in our relationship
9. I’ve got a bad back
8. You need a shower
7. I can hear one of the children
6. I’m angry with you
5. I’m pre-occupied with work
4. I’ve got to get up early in the morning
3. I’ve got a headache
2. I’m not in the mood
1. I’m too tired

Obviously many of these complaints have merit. So let’s address them and see if any or all will have solutions…

Being too tired. This is certainly a valid excuse for many reasons. As a society we are working longer hours than ever before, if we are working at all. Financial fears abound, exhaustion from demanding children, over committed meetings or sports/events, growing older, just typing these have worn me out! However, if any of the above have taken a toll on your sex life because you may be chronically exhausted, check with your doctor for thyroid levels and for anemia. Take a look at your lifestyle, maybe you need to pare down your commitments and get a better night’s sleep by regulating your bedtime and removing rest-interfering (TV & computers) devices from your bedroom. Don’t wait until bedtime… Get up early ๐Ÿ™‚ Come home for lunch ๐Ÿ™‚ Try something a little different ๐Ÿ™‚ BTW, if you have 7 to 13 minutes, you have the time.

I’m not in the mood. Duh… Anticipation is some of the best part! Start thinking about it during the day (or earlier than you plan on having sex). Set your own mood. What may be right for me, may not be right for you… Talk to your partner, if you are having trouble finding time, arrange a time, made a date. If that sounds unromantic, sorry… We schedule almost everything else we do in our life. This should be a priority!

I’ve got a headache. Unless it’s a migraine, you really can’t use that excuse. An orgasm produces endorphins, so doing “the deed” would, in fact, help your headache. If you are having issues achieving orgasm, that is another issue…

I’ve got to get up in the morning. Yes, we all do. See I’m too tired…

I’m preoccupied with work. Do you think work is thinking about you? Do you need stress relief? Don’t you realize that if you walk away from a pressing issue for a few minutes (say 7 to 13) it gives you a new perspective? Give it some thought, after sex…

I’m angry with you. Best way ever to make up!

I can hear one of the children. If the children are not in your room and it’s past their bedtime, it’s your time. Again, creative timing…

You need a shower. Easy. Soap, water, and 3 minutes…

I’ve got a bad back. Get a copy of the Kama Sutra. The afflicted will never have to suffer again. And/or a massage to start things off will feel really good for a sore back…

Too soon in a relationship. Can’t argue this one.

However, I have found more than just the 10 excuses that are commonly used…

* Extra pounds make me feel undesirable. Enjoying sex isn’t about how you look, it’s about how you feel. Ask any guy: If the woman who share his bed gets naked, he not seeing cellulite, he’s just seeing NAKED! If you’re single now and worried that a new lover won’t find you desirable, forget that too, your roles and wrinkles mean nothing to 99% to men (real relationship kind) over 40. What we lack in firmness we make up for in humor, compassion and experience. And we know a LOT MORE!! And if you are have a “not loving my thighs day”. Put on some sexy heels or lingerie. Honey, you are hot from the inside out!

My body isn’t sexy once I’ve entered perimenopause. It does change, but it is nothing that we can’t handle. You now your body better than anyone else. When you get a sense of irregular periods, mood swings, and lack of vaginal lubrication (granted AWFUL) you can take control! See your doctor, use lubricant such as KY. Avoiding sex may worsen things. By using lubricants it will stimulate natural lubrication, sending the blood to the genitals and the tissues will remain healthy. Bright side, no little kids around ๐Ÿ™‚

It’s normal for my sex drive to drop as you age. Wrong! Actually, it’s the opposite. It’s more likely for younger adults to have a drop due to children, work, money, hormonal upheavals. So if you have no desire for sex (even with George Clooney or Faith Hill in your fantasies) see your doctor to be sure you don’t have a medical condition. Beyond that, talk to your partner and discuss how often you would like to have sex. You are not asking for a million dollars…

Football/Duck Dynasty is on. One word. TiVo!

Thank you for letting me rant. I hope you get full service, if not do not be afraid to ask for service and if all else fails you will not go blind if you go for self service…


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