This weekend I watched an amazing movie with my husband, The Sessions. After the movie was over I asked him what he thought about it. He was thoughtfully then he said, “A little disturbed”. This started making me think… First if you have not seen the movie or do not know anything about the movie let me give you a quick review. Based on the poignantly optimistic autobiographical writings of California-based journalist and poet Mark O’Brien, The Sessions tells the story of a man confined to an iron lung who is determined – at age 38 – to lose his virginity. With the help of his therapists and the guidance of his priest, he sets out to make his dream a reality. Helen Hunt plays the role of a sex surrogate named Cheryl, John Hawks, Mark the poet, and William H. Macy the priest.

The original reason I wanted to see the movie was to help explain to people the difference in a sex therapist/counselor and a sex surrogate. I know the definition however wanted to know the story. Little did I know I was going to see a heart warming story of a severely handicapped man who just wanted to be “a man”. Here is where my husband felt a little weird I think. It’s like your parents, you don’t like/want or acknowledge them having sex. My husband verbalized that he had just never thought about someone who was paralyzed from the neck down having sexual desires. I learned so much during this movie!

I am a life coach for people with intimacy/sex issues (as well as empowerment, self-esteem, transition, etc.). Cheryl was a surrogate and had sex with her clients, however unlike prostitutes she limited the sessions. They were very clinical, she followed through with his therapist, taught him about his body as well as hers and she was married (husband who knew what she did) with a family. Mark had a unique challenge just as any one of us might. His was just way more severe. He was devote to his faith. He befriended his priest and discussed and prayed long and hard prior to hiring a surrogate. He wanted love, alas was willing at that point in his life to resign to the fact that he would most possibly never find it and wanted to become a man before he died. He knew that physically he could achieve an erection, because he had done so during bathes. Is it wrong to deny a grown man the right of passage? He felt that he had God’s blessing…

Do we assume that people who are “different” are sexless? One would hope not. Each of us are human with human desires. If you have felt left out or different, you are not alone. There are more people out there that understand you, than you think 🙂 Beneath a tattered or broken body lies the same loving heart that lies within mine and those who are gentle and caring. Being different is unique! No one should ever intentionally want to be just like another… Take that uniqueness and use it, find ways to do things no one else in the world can do! We see inspiring films like I just saw and say WOW… If it not for this man’s uniqueness and the fact that he were open and daring enough to put himself out there for us to see, to learn, to be inspired… That could be the next you! Believe….

If you need more encouragement. Call me.


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